Episode 38- The Mindset of the Successful Job Search (Live Coaching)
Lindsay 00:00
I'm Lindsay Mustain, and this is the Career Design Podcast made for driven ambitious square pegs and round holes type professionals who see things differently and challenge the status quo. We obliterate obstacles and unlock hidden pathways to overcome and succeed where others have not stagnation feels like death. And we are unwilling to compromise our integrity and settle for being averaged in any way. We are the backbone of any successful business and those who overlook our potential are doomed to a slow demise. We do work that truly matters aligns with our purpose, and in turn, we make our lasting mark on the world. We are the dreamers, doers, legends and visionaries who are called to make our most meaningful contribution and love what we do.
Lindsay 00:42
So we're walking through, Abby, can you give me like the 92nd version of how we got to here today? And then we're gonna keep going from here.
Abby 00:52
So yeah, absolutely. So um, the ones who are joining to you guys already kind of know what we're talking about, I think, just career search, I had a career switch in 2021 was laid off due to the pandemic and went back to school, graduated recently and have been on the job hunt ever since. And it's been a little frustrating going through this process. For me, for the first time in over 16 years, I've been with the same company for a long, long time. So I feel a little lost in the woods, and was asked to reflect on my experience so far on this journey. And I wrote a piece that I published in medium, if you haven't checked it out, go look at it, it's posted on my LinkedIn as well. And it's just a reflection on what how I feel about the process and how it's been going for me so far, and put it up on LinkedIn. And I was blessed to have Adam Karpiak comment on it. So if you don't know him, go connect with him he's amazing. And he does a lot of really great things for those who are searching for careers to in with, you know, resume services and whatnot. So he's amazing. And he tagged me in it and just asked everyone in his network to read it, Lindsay was part of that network and that's how we got connected. And yeah, it resonated with a lot of people. And I think there's just many of us out there right now kind of feeling this. And so yeah, Lindsay asked me to be on her podcast and talk about my journey and see if we can't crack the code.
Lindsay 02:21
We are going to go into talking about mindset today. And I'm gonna say, mindset affects every single one of us. In fact, I'm going to be one of the things radical transparency is one of my, my mantras here. And so I'm going to tell you that somebody came back to us after last week and told me that I told Abby, that I sounded like a valley girl. Oh, my God, which is so funny, because I was. So um, I'm not really a valley girl. But let me just say, if I'm not your cup of tea, then get the heck off of here. And I don't need to hear from you anymore. The same thing goes with you in your job search that there are going to be people who are not going to resonate with you. And a lot of times we're like, What's wrong with me? Here's the deal. What's wrong with it, you is them not, not actually something wrong with you. So a lot of times, people were like, please, please pick me, I don't really care if you pick me. I know that if you decide to follow my advice, we get massive results. In fact, this first somebody just started a job after going through my program. The same program, we're actually Abby is going through right now. He had a 55% raise after being laid off for 12-15 months, 55% raised. And then I had another person who just gave notice yesterday, and she got $5,000 more than her highest end of the compensation target, which we go really high, actually, that's one of the secrets about negotiation. Stay tuned, guys, if you want to get the same kind of information, you're getting live coaching with me, literally Abby's journey here. So please make friend with her and follow me. So you can be here when I'm going live. So what I want to know what I'm telling you about is that mindset is one of the most important things in fact, when I talk about introducing mindset into what we do now, if we don't have the right mindset for success, we tend to be victims of this process. And so I am going to say something really radical right now. Life is always working for you. And I know sometimes that doesn't feel like it. It doesn't. In fact, somebody very dear to me got fired via text, yesterday. I'll go back one year ago today, I sat and some of you don't know this, but my brother was murdered in 2019. One year ago today, I sat and faced his killer and gave a deposition in court. I have chosen to see that as a chance for me to be successful and to help others because I know life is really finite. Okay. So whatever it is, life is working for you and I don't need to share all of the pain that I've had in order for you to recognize like I've been there so have you I didn't start out being awesome. That would have been amazing story. I was born I was awesome and then I've just continued to be awesome. No, I started out with a pretty privileged childhood. I watched my dad go through a layoff and then I happen to have the same thing happened in early in my career, even after being a recruiter and I learned how to kind of crack the code as Vicki said. So that's really what we're sharing today is how do we get into this process, which is somebody who's hired 10,000 people, so 10,343 people, that's what I'm gonna go through here today. And mindset is the key differentiator. In fact, if you go look, I think I talked about resiliency and job search back in circa 2016, which I was interviewed by SHRM, which is a society for human resource management, as an expert about this and resiliency is the thing and job searching that keeps you to stay above the rest. So you have to recognize that life is working. I'm going to go back to Hey, and Waseem is here from Pakistan. 3% increase and Lindsay's guidance help tremendously. And thank you so much, Vicki. So Vicki is amazing. I don't like to volunteer, if you're one of the people who've worked with me, but we have 1000s of testimonials. So this is I love these stories. That's why keeps me going. But I want you to know that nobody has to be particularly special or have a degree from you know, I don't know, yeal, or anything, actually, other than claiming your power. That's, that's what I'm going to walk you through here. And that's what we're doing with Abby. And so, in fact, I've seen some shifts, and Abby just in this last week, in some of the ways that she has approaching things and even some of the changes she's made in her her stuff now so far. So I'm going to say here, if you're not interested in what I have to say, then get the heck off my live stream, because I have no time to waste for people who aren't here to get results. Okay, same thing goes. If somebody is not treating you with respect in your life or your career, then get the heck out of their circle and recognize that that was a blessing, but they show their true colors firsthand. Okay, so I'm going to actually read to you the mantra that starts with what we do for intentional career design. So it is called the I am talent mantra, which says that I can see Oh, no, you can't see it. Well, if you were zoomed out, right behind me. The I Am talent mantra says I am human, I am not defined by a piece of paper, nor defined by a system that has been designed to set me up to fail. I persevere I believe in something better, I give, assist, uplift and empower others, I do not complain, but I take action, I understand that failure is necessary on the path to success. I give before I take I am accountable for my actions, my results and my attitude. I believe in the best in others, I rise to any challenge. And I do not make excuses. I am resilient. I have unwavering faith that I will rise above my circumstances. When I fall down, I get up and I keep moving. I believe I can help change the world for the better. So this is where I'm gonna ask you to go hashtag I am talent. If you'll do that in the chat for me, I'll know that you're here with me. And that you guys get what we're going to do at the very end, I'm actually going to give you an opportunity to join something that'll give you some free results right away. So if you want to fast track some of the work that you're doing, in fact, I've enjoyed it. And I don't know how it's been for going through dream job boot camp so far.
Abby 07:57
It's good. No, I think it was really helpful just to kind of, like supplemented the other things that I was doing with you as well. And I got a lot of messages from others who joined us last week that were going through it and they were you know, just what did you think of this? And then we kind of got to talk about what we were doing different and it was a really great, yeah, good, good chance to connect with some of the others who are trying like to change up, you know, whatever their, their resume or their, their profile on LinkedIn. And then we'd send it back and forth to each other, like, how does this look, you know, so it was a really cool, cool experience. I think it was definitely a few like lightbulb moments for me.
Lindsay 08:33
I love that. And so Bobby has behind the scenes of not just that but like my one of my highest tier paid programs. So she the fact that this free resource it was there to give you because for those that you don't know 80% of my business is run completely for free. I do everything with the idea I given given given to literally hurts we monetize a little bit of the rest. If you want to have faster results. We keep the lights on so we can feed our family one time. It's somebody who asked me, Why don't you do this for free? And I was like, so why don't you work for free? So sorry, folks, if you want the fastest results, you end up working with me personally. So if you're wanting to know what I do want you to is results, how do you get there faster, I have opportunities to work with me individually, you can work with me to apply or you can work with me on a free basis, using some of the tools I'm going to give you and that's what we do here. So if you're wondering what's in it for me, that's what's in it for me. But having the results that I get people who make an investment in their career tend to see that others will invest in them because if they believe they're worthy of it, then others are so if you're whatever you're doing to uplevel your career that tends to be how this process goes. So I'm gonna talk to you a little bit about intentional career design. So this is one of the things that I love Steve Jobs I you know, whenever you think of him as a leader, he was very visionary. And he talked about to the crazy ones. I'm going to talk to you about what that looks like here for what what career design really is about. And it's for driven ambitious square pegs and round holes type professionals who see things differently and challenge the status quo. We obliterate obstacles, and unlock hidden pathways to overcome and succeed where others have not stagnation feels like death. And we are unwilling to compromise our integrity and settle for being average in any way. We are the backbone of any successful business and those who overlook our potential are doomed to a slow demise. We choose to redo work that truly matters aligns with our purpose. In turn, we make our lasting mark on the world. We are the dreamers, doers, legends and visionaries who are called to make our most meaningful contribution and love what we do. This is actually what we what the career design podcast is all about. So if you haven't had a chance to tune into that, please go check out I have so many resources for you guys. It's been week, every time every week, I'm interviewing people and talking with some of the most amazing people out there who are making shifts and changes and have success so that you can get results. So tune in because that's what I'm doing and hit that follow button. Okay. Alright, so let me talk to you. I'm gonna teach a little bit and then we're gonna jump in.
Abby 10:53
I just want to say one thing real quick.
Lindsay 10:54
Yeah, go ahead, do it.
Abby 10:55
Um, so that intro like blew my mind when I heard it. And so if anyone else is listening here, and it is just, like, feel super empowered by that, like, just put like a in the chat?
Lindsay 11:06
Yeah, okay. Let's put a fire sign, or heck yeah, whatever it is. But let's see, let's call out the people who are the 1% of the 1%. Because most of us have been conditioned to stay small to play by the rules. And it's actually what's kept you small and being a cog in a machine when you are truly the designer of your reality. And I change that through occupation. That's how I do that. And I'm here to help you understand your true mindset like belief, which is marketability body says, awesome. So your marketability is what we're really going into inside of this. So when I talk about intentional career design, what am I really trying to do inside of this process, I'm trying to one reduce bias. So people who are being dinged for being laid off for extended period of absences, maybe you've been a stay at home mom or dad, you have been, you've had a career pivot, you are over 40 or 50, you don't have a college degree, whatever it is that your biases, there's over 150 human biases, the first thing we're trying to do intentional design is reduce bias. So slows down our process. We want to do that. So we were reducing the friction to velocity. So what we're trying to do is, this process is all about how do we streamline it. How do we become what we call the purple squirrel. And so what we're trying to do is increase that velocity. So let's get to results. Let's get it faster. Second, is to increase your power position. Okay, so low power positions means I hope to god somebody chooses me. And I'll be lucky if I make it through all this. And that is not the mindset of a successful job search. So what we're trying to do is increase our power position. So we know that we feel like we have some control in our life, which is a true like, we want certainty, that's a core human need. So that's one of them. And next is to embody that high caliber candidacy. And you have to become this high caliber candidate in order for people to what I'm really trying to get you to do is in the dream job zone, the right job, the right company at the right salary, that's really hard for some people to believe. But I mean, you've seen the results here just in what people post on the live stream, like I'm not making stuff up. This is actual real people who are talking about getting 40% increases 133% increase, or 55% increase from somebody who started yesterday, my goal is to help you get there.
Abby 13:21
That's the whole point of what you're saying right? Now, if you don't believe that it's possible, it's never gonna happen.
Lindsay 13:26
Yes, whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right. It's one of my when I was in gym class when I was in elementary school, and to Henry Ford, and at one point, I ended up being homeless as a child. That was on my wall in my elementary school. And it's one of the things whether or not you believe in Henry Ford or not, like, you know, in what his he wasn't necessarily the greatest leader, but he was very visionary. And that was one of things, I realized that you are not a product of your conditions, you are a product of your decisions, no matter what pain or what place you're at, you get to choose whether or not I'm going to increase my success, or I'm going to decrease my success. And that starts with mindset. Okay, and then next is become the candidate of choice. That's aka the purple squirrel. So we're trying to become a candidate of choice. So high caliber candidacy and next level is the candidate of choice, which means that people are banging down your door to give you a job offer and we go through career power, which you may or may not recall that from last week, which is the intersection of both passion and purpose, combined with the pursuit of what you're truly aligned in your zone of genius and to uplevel your career to create profitability for both you and the business. This is the thing, it's a win win, which is why I see career designing the system of the future of how companies will amplify their talent to create massive profitability, which is by helping people enjoy what they do do work that truly matters makes their most meaningful contribution. And they actually go to work passionate, excited and energized so they don't feel like they're selling their soul for a paycheck. Okay, so that's what we're trying to do. Now. I want to break down this and you guys tell me here that are watching right now. Which one of these relate to you because I think the traits of the high performer and this is one of the podcasts I do is I talk about the pains of Being a high performer, is one you are relentless. Okay, like I do not stop achieving my goals. Okay. And I know that Abby for you, I wanted to hear from you what these ones were for you? Yeah, you're goal oriented. Okay? Next is that you validate assumptions, meaning I don't just assume that, like, people were like, I am having age bias. And I'm gonna recognize there is age bias. But most of the time when I see age bias, and that victim mentality, and just remember I say this with love, everything here is with love. That's actually not the issue. The issue is that you believe it's the issue. So you do something to sabotage yourself because you believe that is okay. They also prioritize their goals. Okay, so that means that they don't choose to put others before themselves, they actually will prioritize their goals over everything else. They're looking for long term achievement. So always going for how do I uplevel my life, even if you get knocked down a peg, or stabbin, they're always are coming back up. They are never satisfied. Ooh, Nina says here, absolute what you decide what your destiny is, is by your decisions. Yeah, I've been asking a lot of things around spirituality, because I am very spiritual and what I do, and nice is asked like, do you believe in the law of attraction, but we're whether or not you believe in law of attraction, intention is super powerful. Okay, so what you intend, we tend to hit goals that we actually set for ourselves, whether or not usually that's law of attraction or just intentions? Either way, it's a really powerful strategy. Okay. I'm hoarse being average, radio being. Right, Abby,
Abby 16:30
That's a killer.
Lindsay 16:33
Next embraces and invites change. In fact, a lot of the times where we've had our lowest moments, we actually decided to struct ourselves. And I'll tell you that intentional career design is one of those things that I did where I was, like, I'm neglecting someone's soul in the process here, it's not just about jobs. It's about destiny, actually, and how do we create a reality for yourself, and when I decided to do that collapse timeframes, people get 10 times the results in a shorter amount of time, which is pretty crazy, since that program just rolled out this year. Next is I face fail spectacularly. And that means that we are tend to like not want to try until we know that we're going to go all out. And when we go all out, we're they're gonna go amazing, it's gonna crash and burn. So we don't do anything half. We don't do anything like that. Okay. And then the other is that they understand they're in the business of meetings. And that is the most powerful thing I want you to realize you are in a business, whether or not you believe it or not, I'm going to teach you how to market that business through this strategy. And what I mean by that is that you are selling a something of value and someone is going to give you an investment, we're not trading time for money for tasks, we're trading investment for value to get a return for that business that creates profitability. And when you see yourself as that, then you realize the most powerful impact that you can make. So that's the reprogramming here, Abby for you what was kind of a big one.
Abby 17:49
Um, so there was kind of like three that tied together, but like the never being satisfied and embracing, innovating change, like for me, those two really go hand in hand. Because if I'm not satisfied, I'm always looking for something else. And I know you mentioned this in your your mantra, like being average is like feels like death. Like, I just feel that if I you know, if I'm not contributing, if I'm not impactful, then like, what am I here for anyway? What is I guess? Like, if you want to get philosophical, like, what, what is my purpose if it results in nothing, right? So like, That, to me is just the worst, the worst things that could possibly come out of my life. Yeah, and I just realized, like, in the never being satisfied and embracing change, like those can be very good things. But it really depends on how you leverage that feeling. And I think going through this, I realized that, you know, in some ways, it's really good, because that means I'm open to try new things, it means that I'm constantly learning, I'm curious about life, and I will take on new challenges. And that gets me excited. But then on the other hand, if I let it overwhelm me, it turns into like, you know, just like being dissatisfied with your life in general. And feeling like I can't enjoy the the journey that I'm learning on because I never quite get where I want to go. And I sometimes don't even know what that means. But when I do achieve a goal, I can't appreciate it. Because I immediately like critiquing what I'm doing. saying like, Okay, how could I have done that better? Or, like, Where can I go next from here, and I don't even appreciate the moments that are successful. So it really kind of goes, it's like a double edged sword for me.
Lindsay 19:24
Yes, I feel that one too. So we tend to the closer our goal, the less impactful it actually gets. It's another high performer of not being able to celebrate the journey, and realizing that the journey is actually what we're supposed to be celebrating and the whole point of our experience, actually, so, but it's really hard when we get to that. So for you guys that are tuning in, I'm going to actually drop a link for those that want to jump into the boot camp because if you're ready to change your mindset now and get clarity in the next steps, I want you to go to dream job hack.com slash boot camp. Okay, so I'm going to talk to you about a little bit of the mindsets in order to win okay. Mohamed has a good question. I'm just going to post this up, we're not able to cover all of this today. But in two weeks, or should say, a week from a Friday, we're going to be actually going into this piece. And if you are struggling, again, how to transform your experience two to three pages, which it's two pages, by the way, then the thing is, nobody buys your resume, yet six seconds, you cannot describe your lifetime of experience in six seconds, and then two pages. So abandon that philosophy. I'm gonna teach you more about that. So dream job hack.com slash boot camp, you'll get these answers. Each one of you, it's five days to getting success, okay. And it's the quickest like version of how to get through to a place of momentum really quickly. That's why I built that program. Okay. And it's totally free. By the way, I've extended extended the timing for that bootcamp. Okay. So here's some of the mindset. First thing is I know nothing. This is a Socrates mindset, which says, If I come, I'll tell you like, one of the things that I work inside of right now like I have a coach for energy, healing, whatever it is, that's your, you know, your fruit of the week, whatever it is that you're excited about, go ahead and own it. Okay, own it authentically you. But when I come to that, I don't come and say, Oh, I learned about this, I learned about that. I'm a student. And so in here, I want you to recognize I have hired 10,000 people I've helped 15,000 people on average, someone working with me graduates with a $50,000 pay increase, not $50,000 job, pay increase, okay? Why do they get so high? Because we have people get hundreds of 1000s of dollars, that let me tell you, they didn't do anything spectacular, except work with me and a cool clothes container for that time. So here's the thing, stop throwing away unless you have hired 10,000 people have become a best selling author and have helped 15,000 people. And if you are I don't know why you're on this live stream. Go ahead. Okay, someone else? Yeah. Once you have that, then throw away whatever you know, and start with a clean slate. So we'll come to it with the idea of I don't have anything. Next thing is the secret of success is trust the process and people will be like, well, like what if you through all this? Okay, so go back to that. I know nothing. Trust the process, that has been proven like, it's kind of like, Well, you know, maybe if I'm trying to let's say I'm trying to exercise I think I'm gonna see how well just sitting on my chair is gonna work. Because that's like another idea. I can throw out like, trust the process that you're going to need to move your body if you're trying to increase your physical fitness. Okay? Okay, so I will be your truth teller. So Abby's gonna learn things. And she said she's willing to be up here and publicly critique. So she's going to get some of that. And I've seen some of the change she's already made and things and I'm like, Yes, I don't have to critique it, because she's learning and tradable relentless learner here. And then if it was going to work, what you had already been doing, it would have frickin worked by now. Okay, so stop getting in your own way and join boot camp. Okay, that's the first thing, and then make progress or make excuses. This one's hard. Because a lot of times when I see the victim mentality, and I fall victim to this as well, like life off, things are so unfair. And guess what life is unfair, sorry, that's just how it is. Okay, I can make a list of all the things I've gone through, and no offense, but it's probably bigger than yours. Okay. So and that's not to say that your pain isn't like when people. So I'll just say like, when my brother was murdered, I still ran my business, I still coach. In fact, when I was I, there was a point where I was clearing his house out after the crime scene had come in. And I helped someone negotiate a 60% raise while I was filling up the gas in the rental car, and to return it while he was at his house. I did not stop running my business and the people who are going through the pain of job searching, I recognize that pain is just as acute for them and where they're at. So what I'm trying to say here is you get to choose whether or not you move forward, or you get to choose whether or not you choose to be a victim and have excuses, okay, and I say like I literally have a victims unit coordinator, I am technically considered a victim, I choose to see myself as a frickin survivor, okay. Also, there's no magic pill. If there was, I would sell it for you for a million dollars. Okay, so there's not a magic pill, or I would just give it to you. And the other thing is that you have bad behaviors. And you have learned along the way that are holding you back, and things that you picked up from people who say they know what they're doing. And I'm gonna throw a few stones here. There are a lot of career coaches who've taken some sort of online certification, but I've actually never hired anybody. I sat in the unemployment office during the course of my layoff in the Great Recession. And listen to somebody who had never hired anybody teach me how to job search. And when I tried to do everything that she had said, which had already been doing and thought was the answer. It didn't work. So this program came from actually breaking down the process of how I went and fault found high caliber talent that we reverse engineered it. So I'm giving you the step by step plan. Okay. All right. So here's some things the things that are going to sabotage you on the way is one other coaches. Alright, so there are some people like Adam Karpiak, you should definitely listen to Adam. Yes, you should listen to Adam. Let's go look and see Adam is one of my first endorsements and he's the like, he said, I am one of the reasons that he started posting on LinkedIn. Okay, you should listen to Adam. There are people out there who are good ones, look who I'm following if you want to get the idea. There's a lot of people who aren't Okay, and they give Kumbaya messages that are like, wouldn't it be nice if the world was better? Okay, stop like having a pity party and do something. Okay. And what I share here is about how you do something. Okay. Next is your spouse. Your spouse has a big And this is shout out to all the spouses that are there and being really supportive. Your spouse has a vested interest in your success that cannot be objective. And so they cannot give you objective feedback. In fact, so my, when I was married, my husband went back to work after four years, and he was stay at home dad. And he's amazing partner and but I said, there's no way in Heck, I'm coaching you, you can work with someone on my team, because I am too invested in what the outcome is. And so I would choose something that would give me safety versus choosing what your actual purposes. So be careful of what your spouse's, your family is another one, your family tends to want to protect you versus and they're not job is not to support you, your job is to support you. So make sure you listen to that. That person is inside of you first, and then your self limiting beliefs, the things that you do to sabotage yourself. Okay. All right. Um, all right, I also swear a little bit, that's one of the things to know. Okay, so I'm here, I say that like, because I can't really swear on this platform. But if you ever join into my other stuff, you will see that I swear, because I'm considered the Antichrist of Human Resources. That's what I do at the highest, I want to completely destroy traditional human resources, it is about mitigating risk from our own people, which are our best asset and get we protect the company from them. And I feel like if we just did, and I'll talk about this through other stuff that I'm doing, if we created an environment where companies amplified talent, that would be a much better success versus trying to protect ourselves from companies, okay, or from our own people. That's ridiculous. And how do we make sure that whether Yeah, preach, right, whether or not for short term or long term, they should walk away, we still want them to do business with us, and we still want them to talk favorably about us, that should be the most powerful thing we do here. Okay. All right. I am going to go through, there's a lot of stuff inside of this. So we're gonna keep going. Okay, so what am I looking for you to do in your career? Well, I told you about the dream job zone, I'm going to reiterate that one, the dream job zone is the right job. And what I mean by the right job, let me just tell you, the right jobs is the moment you're in it, and it can change the next step, it can change because the company got a new leader of change, because your job got reassigned. Nothing is like static, when people are like, I want to find a job for my life. And I was like, good luck, you might want to build your own business, then Okay, and then likely, you're still not going to be able to stick in the same job, there is no job for life, you need to throw away that old mentality from the 1990s, it's not going to happen, okay, you are going to make a job change. And on average, if you want to increase your salary, like every two to three years is about the right move. I know. But this is the whole point no longer a victim in your, in your career, you're going to do this now. Okay, what I want you to do is the right job at the right company in the right company really comes down to both the supervisor and the company. So every job that you see posted out there is not the right job, okay, it's not the right company. That's part of your vetting process. So when we get into the employer, we're making them prove that they are worthy of our talent. That is the main mindset change, here, they are worthy of our talent, and that they would be lucky to have us repeat that for me in the chat for me, I am making sure that they are worthy of my talent, and they are lucky to have us okay. And what I want you to do inside of this is go to the place of last one was the right salary. So, in addition, you should be paid really well. You shouldn't be lucky to get a good job with a good company, you get paid really well. Likely you've generated hundreds, if not millions of dollars in impact for a business in your career. How is that their luck? You're lucky to have a job, they're lucky to have you this is the reprogramming we have to go through okay. All right. So the definition of what I'm trying to get you is this place of career power, which is anything that rewards you financially, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and allows you to build a life beyond your wildest dreams. Yes, it is possible and I choose the occupation because occupation is one of the core or five core areas of wellness. This is from Gallup. And what we're trying to do here, so there's a few ways you need to know that you should never dim your light for others insecurities going through this. So don't diminish yourself stand in your truest power, and it's going to piss off the people who feel unworthy. It's gonna piss off the people who are not your tribe. So you want to stand in your power and try stop fitting yourself into a box. There is no box, we create the damn box, okay? And it's not even a box. It's some weird shape. Okay. All right. So some of us have this mindset that we're really trying to address, which is whether or not I am worthy. worthiness is the big thing. Okay. So we come into this and we're like, Okay, I'm flawed. I'm not deserving, who do I think I am, okay. And I want you to go and change your my mantras to be I am worthy. I deserve abundance and I will change the world with my gifts. If you truly believe those things, then you will do the work to make that happen. Yeah, I'm making sure they are worthy of my talent. They're lucky deserve me. The companies are lucky to have us. Yes. Preach. Okay.
Abby 29:41
I hope that just people can believes in this because I haven't seen anybody else. So speak up for this.
Lindsay 29:45
Yes. Seriously, like this is the one main reprogramming is worthiness. Okay. I'm so ready for Lindsay. I'm so glad you're here. And yeah, I had somebody recently just on my podcast, they're like, let me talk so fast. I'm super sorry. Okay. All right. So here's some key beliefs to self worth. And then we're going to after this, I'm going to transfer mindset here, there's not a lot of work in mindset except ingraining it as far as your programming, so you're going to hear your own talk tracks, which they're going to be days where I'm like, and I'm going to say, like I am, I do not teach anything, I don't have to learn by myself. I have my own coaches, I buy my own, I drink my own Kool Aid, okay? So this will be days where I'm like, I really thought today, I don't feel very good, I am a loser, whatever it is that I want to tell myself and I have these pity parties for myself, and I recognize that I do. And then I have to get and say, I am worthy. I am deserving. Look at the impact I've made. And I'm going to teach you how to do this. Everything I do through here, by the way, is about reinforcing this mindset. So by the end, you become something we call unwithable. I say it like that, because I can't say it. You're okay. With the ball. Okay, that's our that's my favorite swear word, by the way. So what I want you to know is the key beliefs around self worth is that I don't need to please anybody else. When we start giving up what other people believe in us, and this is a practice, we have to continue, I just told you about how somebody kind of made me not to make me feel bad, I chose to feel bad about that. I also believe you choose how you feel, doesn't mean it doesn't hurt just means that I choose to how I believe and I spent a little bit time going through that and realizing, yeah, I don't really care what you do until most people, the people who are criticizing you, and this happens to me in the chat, if this is you, the most people will criticize you or never doing more than you because they're too busy doing other crap. So you're not gonna find out in cardiac, probably on this live stream talking about whatever I'm doing because he's got his own stuff to do. Okay, so people who criticize you, or always have some sort of issue with you, that have issue with you are always doing less than you. And that's offensive to people who don't feel worthy about themselves. But that's not your issue. That's theirs, let them go ahead and keep it okay. I choose how I feel about myself. My actions reflect my values, okay, my internal barometer of my value is based on my alignment to my goals, values, principles and actions, not what anybody else tells me, okay, and even when i f up and you will, because I said failure is necessary in the path to success. I know that I matter, I matter. And in turn, I will do what it takes to align myself to my goals, my values, my principles, and my actions, okay? Things are always going to shift in your job search, your career is never stagnant. It's like saying that you will never change. Okay? Nobody ever can commit to that. We invite change. Okay. One of the reprogramming things they need to have you believe is that every rulebook you've been given around, this has actually lied to you. Okay? job searching is not about searching for a job creating a single page or 17 page resume and applying online, it does not work that way. It does work point 4% of the time. Sorry, true story. Okay. So what we need to believe is that I instead of seeing limits, I see potential, I don't see problems, I see opportunities, I know that I am a catalyst to my own change. I'm not focused on the here and now and looking at my long term strategic focus. I don't care about what other people are doing for like, I was not resentful about other people's success. India's normal, India's human, but really what I'm trying to do is celebrate success for there for all I really believe in abundance, and that there is enough pie to go around. In fact, let me tell you, it's at the very top, they've got enough to give, okay, I'm not tied to any particular outcome, which means I don't care how like that one conversation or anybody here who doesn't like me today, I'm tied to whether or not my clients get results and whether or not I'm making a better impact on the world. I believe that I don't win, I win through my team and my clients. And that's the difference here. Okay, I don't have a problem for every single solution. I'm always looking for solutions that we can overcome together. I know that I creates results by taking action, not just by showing up. And instead of I know it all, I'm always learning like I'm learning from Abby. And that's probably a weird thing to say when you're supposed to be coaching somebody but we learn from every single person here, okay. Okay. All right. So I'm going to jump down here because there's a lot more that comes into this, but we always one of the biggest things inside of in mindset is your self care. Okay? So if you do not put yourself first and this means, yes, mothers or people who have spouses or partners, you put you first Okay, so oxygen mask first. If you ever been on an airplane, they tell you, if the oxygen mask drops, you put it on you first. Okay? If you cannot take care of you, then How the hell can you take care of anybody else? Okay, and it is not their job. Your job, they might support you, but the only person who can take care of you is you. Hey, key. So I'm Vicki. How about Sorry, I'm Vicki. Vicki, you can tell me about yourself here too. She's pretty excited. I was reading um, Elvie's of comments here. So tell me Abby for you. What have you tuned into for self care now in this process of really upgrading your mindset?
Abby 34:54
Oh my gosh, this is a big question. I think of the things that Um, we reviewed like, for me, I think it starts with my overall health. And I say that as a very general thing. So that means like physically, emotionally, mentally, you know, making sure that all those things are in the right place. There are many ways that you can shift your mindset. But for me, if I'm not taking care of myself, like you said, How can you take care of anyone else, and that doesn't mean just, you know, not just getting up and exercising, which is what I have been doing. But you know, I'm inconsistent. And I can tell when things shift, I will be, like, for example, when things are going well, it's because I woke up and I started my day, right. And I did my meditation in the morning, I did my exercise, I made myself breakfast, like, I started off on the right foot, and then from there, I can prioritize and organize my life. And on the days that are not, it's probably like, I hit my snooze button a bunch of times, didn't work out, feeling sorry for myself, like, you know, I just fall into this pattern, and it kind of spirals out. So for me, I'm really making, you know, a more conscious effort to do those things right away and just start my day, right. And then, you know, make sure that I'm thinking about it through the day and taking breaks from my screen a little bit throughout the day, just to go out and like be in the sunshine for a few minutes and brief. For me, that's really important. And, you know, taking the time to like, spend with the people who around me that energize me, and that, you know, I can share with and a lot of these guys are here for me as well. All of you guys who showed up today, like that's, I can't even tell you what that means. It's, it's like an overall, like you're frustrated together. But the fact that we're all here supporting each other is I think it's very powerful. And for me, it's very encouraging. So thank you for being here. So yeah, I'm trying to invest my time and the things that I know are going to fill my cup rather than just wallowing in self pity, you know.
Lindsay 36:59
And Raven says way to be authentic and vulnerable. Yes. And so authenticity and vulnerability are so so one, that's why I like Abby is here. Honestly, if she hadn't bothered to share her, her voice with the world, if she hadn't bothered to be transparent, she wouldn't have all these people who are cheering her on. So a lot of times we like to pretend that everything is okay. It is okay to say, I am not doing super great, but I'm choosing to move forward. Okay. And that's if you notice, like she said, I don't want to complain, or I don't wanna feel like I'm stuck. I know. I was like, I didn't get that at all. I just thought now how do we make the world better? Holly says she's cheering you on. So I love that. You too. Self Care is one of the big things. And I'm going to tell you that after my brother died, this was something I really struggled with, I really, really struggle with and love. People are like, wow, Lindsey, what has changed for you, like you're so much more healthy, more energized, more like able to be more consistent in everything that you do. Because running a business is just like, it is the hardest thing that to do personally, like it's the most expansive growth that I've ever seen. And I think any of my other fellow entrepreneurs will agree with that. How, what's what's changed, okay, I spent and you do not need to do this extreme, but I recommend at least one hour, three hours, three hours of self care in the morning. And here's why I have to look and I get up at five in the morning. So my little kids, when I get to the end of the day, I have something left to give them because you know what, they're the most important thing in my entire world, my job and my business and all my customers. I love you guys, you're very important to me some of my greatest accomplishments. But the thing that matters most to me is my family. There's the ones that really matter. And I mean, I tell lots of stories about my background. But I watched my dad go through an extended unemployment, he spent two years plus searching for a job and I watched his self worth completely wither away. And I'm really thankful I got to spend that time. So I'm here because my purpose is he actually went into the hospital after that job search. And he never got to walk out again.He was had inoperable brain tumor, and it's life into just a few months later. And so like I in my life been very, very hard after that, I became a homeless kid. And things were really, really challenging. So when I say like, I understand your pain, folks, I have been at the very bottom, I have been to the very bottom homeless without even a parent. So when I look at like my kids, I look and I say, they're the ones that matter most are all gonna be this little for a tiny minute. Okay, so we're gonna say an Amen. All right, so I want to say like, there's some things that we do and I love when we were like, I don't have time for this. And I was like, so and I'm gonna use an example full data because I don't watch TV. How to Game of Thrones in you can tell me that then what you're telling me is that you prioritize your entertainment over your self care. And Alright, so the first thing when we don't we, when I see people are like, I can't do this. And I'm like, if you were watching television, you have chosen something different. You have chosen that's a collective consciousness like that. Like oh, you know what is the world going on out there? Your TV is not going to uplevel your career okay? Your TV is not going to save your TV is not your family. So one stop making bs excuses second stop numbing out. And that could be through alcohol could be by hitting the snooze button it could be. And I'm not saying you don't need some time for restorative care, you should, you should and I still watch TV, there's some things I do. I'm not saying that you can't, but I limited and if you I always look at habit stacking which atomic habits is really a powerful thing. So like, I know, I can watch TV after do my dishes. Okay, like that's one of my things in order for me to get that reward. Okay. And the other thing is I do self destructive, self destructive behavior. So I'm gonna be really transparent here. When I feel really bad about my life, or whatever is going on, I will go get a Big Mac. I will go get a Big Mac at a soda two things. absolute garbage is good for which is not even that great for a little bit. And then I feel like shit and I've punished myself. So I want you to know, whatever you're doing, examine the behavior and what's the root cause of the story? You're telling yourself about it? And really, like be honest and stop hiding it. Stop making excuses. Okay. Okay. So let's see here. What? One of the things that really changed for me was when I started embracing habits and habits if you haven't picked up atomic habits, like you probably heard it a million times. It's so powerful. So habit stacking is another thing and also like consistency things like I drink a lot of water. I drink a lot of water. I've meditate I journal I set intentions. Yeah, exactly. So what I want you to think about is how do I change my mind if I can hack the first few hours of my day, when the rest of it in fact, you spend two hours just investing the beginning of your day, setting an intention, being mindful, exercising your mind exercising your body, choosing things that amplify your results versus I'm going to tune out or whatever it is that you're going to do that everyone tells you are so important. It's not so like, yeah, keetsa your legs are going I can tell you're living it. Yes. So I want you to think about what makes me feel good and do more of that. Okay, and not temporarily feel good, like a glass of wine may make me feel good. But I know that a bottle of wine doesn't okay. Choose what behaviors here that you're going to indulgent and choose for self care. And this is one thing like we've somehow especially women, women shout out to Luma shout out to the moms in particular, like Somehow, I get a shower. So I took self care, no shower is basic dignity. Okay, you get a shower. Okay, so anybody who's gonna smell it's not getting a shower regularly, please give that person some help here. Okay. Um, and the other thing here is, if you haven't ever read the book, power versus force, these are two book recommendations. Power versus force talks a lot about the different energies. We all have electromagnetic frequencies. Oh, my god, did you get it? changed my life. This book changed my life. And when I realized, like I was buying into things and grief is one of the hardest grief and shame, which are two of the things that happen in job search. When I was stopped doing that, and started resonating at a higher frequency, we tend to magnify what our successes so take a look at that book, if you haven't had a chance, cutting all the noise on radio made a big difference in my life. Yeah, the other thing I don't do is i'm a no news diet. I don't listen to the news. Because one, I literally have been the front page like of it bleeds, it leads, I have been that I have literally been, they've capitalized on my pain, they twisted my story, they've made it sound horrible when my brother was the one who was attacked and killed. And, um, it's like, I'm no longer buying into what mass media is, we have to choose what what we surround ourselves. So choose your, your, your frequency, choose your circle and choose yourself care. Those would be the big mindsets, okay. All right. So now I've got a little bit of time here. So Abby, I'm going to give you five minutes to ask your questions where you're at. And then I'm going to open up to the rest. And then we're going to talk about what we're going to do on Friday for the next thing. So the very first part here, by the way, is a lot It is low. It's really easy. When I say really easy, like I don't have people like I'm like, go ahead and write your resume. You will have that as an assignment here. But what I want you to do now is if you can change your mindset, everything else becomes exponentially easier because you realize that you're creating your own reality. Okay, go ahead, Abby.
Abby 44:03
Yeah, like real quick before I ask a question, though, like, I think, for me, going through this week, like you said, I feel like I've already learned so much, but I'm open to it. And I'm in a place where I finally am like, I like I have no other choice. This is where I'm going with choosing this. So it's a choice. It's a conscious choice. Like you said, you know, you can drink a whole bottle of wine or you can sit on the couch and eat like a pint of Ben and Jerry's or you can like, go do something that will actually be beneficial to you. So my, I guess word of encouragement to you guys is just pay attention to how you feel all the time. throughout the day. Start thinking about what you're doing and how that's making you feel and stop choosing the things that are making you feel bad about yourself. And yeah, we have moments, right, we're going to we're not perfect, we're human, we're gonna fall back sometimes, but um, but if you start to recognize it, it's easier to avoid right and you have to create new habits which let me just be honest, it's hard, hard work. breaking your old habits. But if you want to change if you want to feel different, you have to do something different than what you've been doing.
Lindsay 45:07
So if you want to feel different, you have to be doing something different. Oh my gosh, yes. Okay, I love that. And this is where I always were checking in on mindset. I'm like, this is just you have to choose to put you first. Yeah, that's the biggest thing, you have to choose to do the oxygen mask, I don't really care what you choose. There are some things like I talked about body, brain, belief and love. These are the three or four components of what I like for people to do in their daily routine, which is, what are the mantras I do? How do I take care of my mind and my body? And then how do I express love, because love for me, you can't really see it. Opposite here. value. And so if I do all things with love, so he asked me what my secret success is, if I do all things with love, then I know and turn the universe comes back to me. And people tend to know that my heart's in a really good place. Like I'm not really, I would, in very truthful transparency, I would love to unemploy myself in what I do. I would love to, because I don't want this to be a problem for anybody. That's actually what my long term goal is very weird, backwards business philosophy. I'm not in the business of making money. I'm in the business of making a difference. But I also want to take care of my family and I want you to be able to carry bores, and that's what we do. Okay, keep going, Abby. Sorry, I didn't mean to keep cutting you off.
Abby 46:17
No, that's okay. I kind of got on a soapbox for a second. But I just felt like maybe somebody needs
Lindsay 46:21
Oh, Fox, yes. If you can give like let's go I go hashtag Abby here. Amazing human, let's I keep telling her I was like, I'm just so thankful for her and being in my world now. Because she's just an amazing person. And she makes me better just by showing up.
Abby 46:35
I'm so happy you're here to. Um, if you guys feel I have to be up here being vulnerable. So if you feel like you want to share something and be vulnerable in the chat, it's a safe space here too. So, you know, tell us about you know, if you're struggling with something, or if you want to give something up, or if you want to change, feel free to share it. That is, I would love to hear about it.
Lindsay 46:54
I would love to hear so I'm gonna actually do that. Because you guys are gonna have a chance to ask questions. Go ahead and plug that in now like what are you struggling with? What like, what's the, and I might be telling you, I'm going to cover that in a later week. Or I might be telling you go join the boot camp for a dream job half because you're going to see a massive change in just five days. But let's go ahead and open for questions. And Abby, you go ahead and start with yours.
Abby 47:15
Oh, my gosh. Okay, I have a few. Let's see. Um, okay, so. Okay, I don't want to jump too far ahead. But I'll talk to you about something that happened to me this week. So I know that you mentioned kind of further along, and some of you guys might already be in this part on your career. Thanks for that. I'm lucky that you applying for jobs is not the way you get a job, right? Like it's not, it's not done that way. I don't know how it's done yet. But we're gonna find out.
Lindsay 47:49
Well, you guys, I promise.
Abby 47:52
But my question is, I know that a lot of us get approached, especially on LinkedIn with and I don't know if it's just like recruiters, or like people selling a service, or whatever it is, but we got lots of messages out there that are like, you know, I found you and your look like a perfect match for XYZ thing. And like one of two things usually comes out of it. And I've noticed this, like, for me, it's either I'll write back, and they'll say, Oh, I don't actually have a job for what you do. So it's, I mean, just spam. And then the other one is, sometimes you'll write back and then they don't respond, or it takes him like a week. And they're like, oh, sorry, I got busy. Like, what I guess is your advice on how to or whether or not to respond and how to respond to that, like, what's best practice.
Lindsay 48:40
I'm gonna give you a couple things here. So one, I'm just like, everything are really poor recruiters out there. And one of the things I do is I teach organizations how to actually go out and target people. If you've ever applied to this, every job with the same resume, you probably have also gotten these math, I'm not saying and one grace the other. But if you ever apply the same job, and then you get a response that's canned and sounds like what we call like a mass market message. Those it's the same thing. So I want you to we're going to change this completely in the way so I want you to think like I'm going to tell you I get reached out about collection agent rules. And so what I when I see that I don't know, what's wrong with me, or what's wrong with them. I think that's a plan. Okay, and so a lot of times when I'm going through this, the things that are not even close are I wouldn't do and people who treat you like you are one of many, like I look at my and I have a large following, but I don't say like oh, like McQueen, everything I have, you know, six figures of followers across all my platforms. I don't think I have you know, followers. I think I have 100,000 people and souls that are following me. So if they don't treat you like you're an individual, they're likely not have the same mindset that you have. So you kind of have to take away that idea that somebody is that they are going to be worthy of you or something's wrong with you. So if we take away that thing, I just want you to think like, these are opportunities that are coming into me. And they may or may not come to fruition, which is why worthiness is so important and why mindset becomes a big one. So that's the first thing is backup strategy. Okay. Second is people, one of the things that's challenging is we tend to, like, we put all our eggs in a couple of baskets. And so we always want to have like, one of the traits of a high caliber candidacy is having multiple options. So we never have all our eggs like, like this one thing, if it doesn't work out, suddenly, something like, all my plans have gone to crap. And now I'm a horrible human,
Abby 50:34
I have learned the hard way.
Lindsay 50:38
So this, sadly, like I had one client, she's like, I was just I knew this was the job for me. And everything like I knew it was and then that job, so she got to the second level or second, or second place, and then get the job. And she's I was like, so what happened with all this is what we're gonna do in a few weeks here. What happened with this, they're like, Oh, I stopped doing that, because this seemed like it was a thing. So we never stop, we never stop, I'm going to show you how to focus on what you do. By the way, do what I teach here is not about doing everything I say, for eight hours a day, two hours a day, Monday through Friday, in the course of nine weeks, I can get you those results, okay, we're talking about the freedom principle we're gonna do less is more. So in that every person that you're reaching out to connect with is going to be or that connects with you is going to be worthy of your time. And I say that because there are a lot of recruiters always have options. Yeah, Keith says, I probably see 20 message or respond to that I never hear from him again. Okay, so we are going to talk about this inside. So one, first off, go sign up for boot camp, because we're gonna change how like your optimization on your profile is one of the challenges that you're having. Second, you have to realize that there's people who are doing crap out there, and they're doing like they're sending out garbage and they're getting garbage back. I have been guilty of this, I'll tell you that recruiters get inundated. So we have to become the candidate of choice, which is what I'm going to show you through this process. So it means optimizing your profile, optimizing our story, and having really value out of connection conversations, I'm gonna teach you how to do this. In fact, you might have started some of this work already Abby, the value proposition is going to be the key here, it's going to be the secret sauce. It's also the hardest thing that you will ever do. And I had a Chief Branding Officer at a very major company who almost cried, and it was a guy while doing this with me. And if he couldn't get it together, I don't expect anybody to and I don't cry anymore. So I don't think actually, it's just I tapped on, like, I need you to show me that you're worthy of this. And people don't know how to deliver that. And so that's what I'm teaching you about the business of meeting. So once you to know one takeaway that there that anybody has any decision on yourself worth except how you choose, every event is neutral, it's either working for you. So if they don't respond to you then say that opportunity wasn't for me, okay? Or and I also want you to think that connections, especially the ones who are really heartfelt recruiters will want to make a connection, they may take a little bit of time, but when we want to get results, and we are showing up on our calendar versus theirs, we are overwhelmed as recruiters and so I also am a recruiter advocate. I believe the program that we've worked, like the system that HR is operating in, is not sustainable. And so recruiters, the ones who we typically like we believe in the human, we've somehow forgot about the human inside of businesses, but we believe in the human. That's why we got into it. But we are overwhelmed. Let me just ask you, Abby, how many do you think how many applicants do you think I worked with on a monthly basis? When I was working?
Abby 53:17
I got 1000s, I'm sure.
Lindsay 53:18
Yeah. So far. It's been three and 6000. And I was hiring four people a month.
Abby 53:23
I don't think that. Yeah, I don't I I, I mean, you've read what I wrote, like, I know that the recruiters aren't the problem. Hiring managers are not the problem, HR. People are not the problem, though, right? It's the system that they have to upgrade with the program.
Lindsay 53:40
Exactly, but we don't we don't have HR is not seen as a revenue generating department. So it's understaffed, and people don't place a lot of value in it, because they just don't see it. And so we've always undermined the value that has, so that makes it really hard. And so we have a really overworked system. So we need to get Oh, Vicki got a new job last week. That's amazing. I didn't really she's not sometimes not with me. So this is where I get really excited. In three years, I have people who which you should be doing, they should be about this time changing jobs. Again, we're seeing massive change. So what is don't put a lot of weight in this and know that intentional hyper targeting will be the secret of what we're going to do, we're going to find the right people which combines both influence and authority to identify our and reveal the hidden job market and I'm going to talk about this and some people and some people I really respect will say that's not true. I'm gonna say, I have I think I posted a job a long time ago with my business but I have never ever hired somebody from a job advertisement in my business and I have hired a lot of people like 50 so I'm just know that the for the right companies like I have created jobs for people we can do that. That's what I'm actually teaching you to do is how to have somebody see your value so highly, that they will create an opportunity for you. That's the end goal. So when I say like I can teach you how to land a six figure job without ever having to apply. I'm going to show you how to do that. Okay, so hang on, don't worry about the house so much right now. Exactly how you get access to the frontline, you're going to share with everybody your story so hard to sometimes get caught in that. So the big part is just No, there's nothing wrong with you the system is broken, you already know this, but for everybody else listening, and that don't put a lot of the weight in that my worthiness is depend on whether or not somebody responds to this.
Abby 55:17
Yeah, 100% I know, we're kind of near the end here. But like just a couple things that came to mind. Like, what Lindsay said, it's it. It's interesting to me that the job punch for me starts with my own mindset and what I think of myself, internally, it's not where I expected to start, but certainly work. Um, so just a couple things like, you know, mentioning, taking advice from other people, be careful of that, because one thing that I realized, and I'm gonna post on resonate with any of you guys, but um, I take advice from people that I respect, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I want their life. And if I'm taking advice from people whose life is not the life that I want, then guess what I'm going to end up with their life, and it's not the life that I want.
Lindsay 56:03
that is the most powerful statement there. So I'm going to tell you, I had a conversation and I love my mother, but she is very much in business protecting me. And I said, Mom, I would be more inclined, take your advice if you have a life that actually wanted. Yeah, no, choose who you like, what you surround yourself with, and who like I always am up leveling, and I have friends that are up leveling with me, but I keep my circle really tight. The people that I admire, that I can learn from that are our peers, like I have like a chief spiritual advisor. So she and I teach her about how to run her business. And so like, I'm always about what kind of life do I want, I'm like, these are the things that I want to surround yourself. It's not listening, people who have are older, like, I'm just gonna be really honest, guys, the single job title that I work with the most, the single one is VP of HR. HR people like they are the HR people branding, and communications and marketing tend to be the people, which should all let me just be really clear here the belief that they have, I should be able to do this, I should be able to do this, right? Because I have the right skills. And they can't Okay, so if they have a shot of doing it, then like what's the average like introvert who's a technologist who can really do their job but has never bothered to build their brand, likely to do this on their own? They're going to get bad advice. And so again, follow like, and what I always look for is my intuition. I truly listened to my intuition. Like, what if you've ever got a guest? Your intuition, you know what I'm talking about? But if you go with what feels right, what resonates with me and somebody who's got your best interests at heart, that's the right thing, but also has a life that you would want So I love that that is so powerful.
Abby 57:27
Yeah, I love it, too. It's pretty cool, right? It's, uh, I don't know, it's not what I expected. But I'm really excited about it. I'm actually relieved that it's not the same thing again.
Lindsay 57:35
I was like, mindset is like, people are like, Oh, I just want to go to the doing. The doing you have to be the thing before. If you ever see this, like, do then have and then be you have to be and then do to receive. Okay, so I've the got the secret here.
Abby 57:49
I mean, just everybody like trust your trust your instincts. Also, I think that's something that we choose to question a lot based on. I think everyone's at least somewhat influenced by other people. So for me, another thing that I learned this week is just I get to tell my own narrative and I don't get I don't let other people tell it for me. I'm not doing that anymore because I think I've done that for way too long. And I you know, I try to be who I think people expect me to be. Or where they see me as or who they might see me as I haven't even met them yet. But I think oh, they're gonna see me and think x and then I try to be that thing. Which is ridiculous. Like, why would I do that?
Lindsay 58:26
And one of the big things I had to reprogram I believe so when you say that like there are a lot of things where I'm like oh it's so powerful because yes and we that's the box you get to create and you The box is Abby shaped, it's not it's not Vicki or Charlie shaped it's Abby shaped or whoever you are.
Abby 58:45
You have a square peg in a round hole or a round peg in a square hole i'm i'm going to Yeah, I'm not a peg or a hole I want this world the shape around my shape and whatever shape I decided to take today is that shapes
Lindsay 58:59
Exactly as you are whenever you're experienced Education The only thing people I throw a lot of stones here. And as long as you feel like the experience is worthwhile that's big but I might you don't need programming is like you go to school, you need to use school like guys, I went to a for profit college, I run a business more successful than most influencers on this platform do. I don't care about vanity things like followers and likes I care about the results I get and the lives and the families I get to impact that's what makes my business very different. And so choose again, like Who do you want to emulate? And then follow those people and that's what's the most powerful thing?
Abby 59:33
Yeah. Believe in yourself, guys.
Lindsay 59:37
Your worth it, I really tried to get you t o believe that you're up. And you're worth it. That's what I'm actually going for in this.
Abby 59:44
Thanks, guys. Yeah, that's right. You know, 100%
Lindsay 59:48
Never have people tell you to be something be yourself. Yes. And that's the mostly advice here. Like you need to do this to fit into here. And I'm like, No, no, actually exactly who you are and what your zone of genius is. And that's what we're gonna work in next week. That's where we're gonna get really powerful in this piece.
Abby 1:00:03
Thanks. Yeah, I think if you start to fit into somebody else's mold, you're gonna end up with a job that you don't want. You're not going to be happy, right?
Lindsay 1:00:09
Yes. And that's where like, you feel like you're like, Oh my god, oh my gosh, let me just give you a quick story, I got an opportunity to do some work inside of a business. What he showed was how to not treat people like they're just numbers and cogs. And guess what I went into this business, teach them how not do that. And then they treated me like it. And I was like, I'd rather not do this work because I feel that way. Not give me as many apps is also important because like, like, I give zero F is actually one of my mantras here. Only the things that really matter that are improving my life. Like I can't change the whole world. I can change this a few things. Yeah, Abby is a unicorn. Is it?
Abby 1:00:49
Oh, he's just saying abs.
Lindsay 1:00:50
Oh Abs okay.
Abby 1:00:52
Like, like you're saying Abby shorter? Yeah, I guess. It's kind of like the abbreviation I guess of my name, although, you know, lacking in the house department, but that's okay.
Lindsay 1:01:06
Well, that's healthcare. Well.
Abby 1:01:09
Remember that bottle of wine and the ice cream we were talking about earlier
Lindsay 1:01:12
Yeah, well, I'm gonna give one other piece of advice here, you need to forgive everything you've done up until this moment, I know. And so when you like people will be like, especially this next one, you're gonna be like, Oh, my God, I have some people, it's like a kick in the groin, on what you're going to take what I'm gonna teach you in this next thing. And I'm like, I should have done this the whole time. You didn't know it didn't even exist until three years ago, okay? It didn't exist. And so don't give yourself forgiveness for being the very best, everyone is always doing the very best they can possibly do. And that means even the people who are jerks, like, they probably don't wake up and go, you know, what I'm really gonna make Lindsay's life, like, really mean to somebody today. And I had somebody who tried to run out literally trying to bet I was in my car with my kids try to run over me with their car. Now, I think this person was on drugs. And the police actually, like had to go and do this whole thing. I have some very extreme examples of what that person was doing the very best they possibly cut, which is not very well, right. But like, I forgive myself for the situation that I was in, because what it was a Maya choosing a lot of times, like whatever it is, I shouldn't drink that bottle of wine. Okay, when we say should, it's also like, shame, shame, and anything is hard to just knock it off. Okay? So try to let go of shame and forgive yourself, okay.
Abby 1:02:28
I get I get it. Like, you know, I'm human, I'm not going to. I mean, I'm probably going to feel bad for a little while, but I'll get over it.
Lindsay 1:02:35
Forgive yourself, we always do the best we can anytime. So I always have asked like, I'm trying to make a new job. Okay. So what am I say? First go to dream job hack. And I'm actually going to talk about what's going on. Do you have any other questions, or we want to, can I jump into what's coming up? Yeah.
Abby 1:02:49
I mean, I don't know what your timing is. But I feel like maybe we should.
Lindsay 1:02:52
Okay, perfect. I'm going to the next one, we're going to get into the actual so there's visible work and invisible work mindset is like the foundation of what we do here. So mindset, without this, it's like building my grandma used to I went to church a lot as a kid, you build the house upon the sand house on the rock. So we're gonna build the house upon the rock here. And so the first thing we're doing is building the foundation. That's mindset. Next is clarity. Okay, yes. should equal shame. She knows this from me. She does. And so No, no shitting, um, no shaming. Just, that's what you need to do that actually take the very first part of that. Perfect. Next is we're going to build the framework. Okay. And so the framework is, before we actually do anything else, the framework is clarity. Okay, so a lot of times people like, I don't know what I want to do, it's a trait of a high performer, by the way to have zero clue what you want to do or really kind of have that. Yeah. Or I don't want to grow up trait of high performer. Okay. So the most revolutionary visionary people in the world are going to have this struggle. So if you're struggling with that, or what do I want to do now, I want you to know, that is just fine. We are going to get into clarity The next thing because when you are paralyzed, and stop this because you have 360 degrees of options around you. That's paralyzing to have multiples of options. So we need to just pick a direction, it doesn't even matter if it's the right direction, because we can always course correct, but being frozen in time is the worst part. Okay, so we need to move forward. So that's what we're actually going to be working on. On Friday, we're gonna talk about clarity. And I'm going to tell you, this is the part that you're going to be mad at me about partly, most stuck on I'm going to teach you how to write a value proposition how to identify your superpowers, how to create your zone of genius, so do not miss this. Please go follow me if you're listening to this. Now go follow me. So when we go live on Friday, that you'll get to hear this and coaching alive. So go ahead and do it with me. This work is hard, okay, if it was easy, then everybody would do it. So be thankful that they're not so that you can beat everybody else. Okay? Because I want you to win, you who's listening right now, to me, you have decided to make a decision in your career to uplevel do it with me, okay, so no more excuses. No more bottles of wine, no more snoozing no more. Whatever it is that you've chosen to numb out, just tune in here and do something to uplevel Your career, Pam, spend an hour with me, it will change your life every week. So that's what we're going to do on on Friday. This is the most powerful thing I can do. Because even just setting a goal, which is a trait of a high performer will let you get closer to that goal. Okay, so I want you to just right now think about the three most amazing things you've ever accomplished in your life. Likely, you had a plan, you had a goal, and you built a plan. Is that true for you, Abby?
Abby 1:05:28
Yeah.
Lindsay 1:05:29
Okay, if that all is consistent, when people come in here, they're like, I'm gonna try everything. And I have no plan and no strategy, I have no idea where I'm gonna go. That's like, how would you ever know you've arrived. So that's what we're gonna go through on Friday is this piece and I'm going to teach you how to declare your power, and let the universe hear it, that it comes back to you. Okay, so that's what we're going to do. And it's a very powerful exercise. So if you are looking to make some changes, right now, this is where I'm gonna say dream job hack.com slash boot camp, please tune in and get in and get some results. Because what I see here is people will graduate in five days. Seriously, that sounds crazy. But really, if you do the work, if you take the right steps, and follow along on this process, it will get you to a more powerful place. And if you need more help, and that's where I come in, to help you individually. Okay, so what else would you say? Abby, for anybody who's listening today, at this point in your journey? What's your summary now?
Abby 1:06:19
Oh, um, well, I think I'm actually just going to kind of give an example of something you had me do powerful. Um, so I didn't think much of it at first, when I got to the end of like, the, I guess, some of the exercises that we were working on, but you asked me to write an email to myself, making some promises to myself, my future self to write an email to your future self, you know, and promise yourself three things that you're going to do or change, you know, things that are that are powerful to you. And at first, I was like, okay, like, what's this gonna be? Like, am I gonna, you know, eat healthier, or whatever. And then I, I kind of took a step back, and I was like, Okay, what am I going to? What am I actually going to do? Like, I'm not going to just, you know, lip service here, and like, fill in the form. So I want to just encourage you guys, if you want to try to do that, that was really powerful. For me, I started just being very authentic with myself and realize that I don't think I ever, like told me this kind of a goofy way to think about it. But I never really told myself to that I had my own back, so to speak. I don't know, I kind of had this realization while I was writing it, I'm like, wow, like I I have not taken care of myself in the way that I could have. So yeah, so tell yourself that you have your back, and that you're going to be there for you whether you fall down or not.
Lindsay 1:07:43
But he says Wow, email yourself, your goal and your plan. So I'll tell you what it says write an email to your future self because time is going to go by whether or not you choose to do something with it or not describing your commitment to choosing yourself and I recommend choosing three promises to keep an email to yourself and to somebody that you love. Who will remind you in a couple weeks of why you are doing this, okay. All right. Thank you so much, Abby, for tuning in. I know it's a little so this is there's gonna be a lot of emotions. We dredge the ocean a lot of times in job search, job search, death, divorce, moving job search, that's the most stressful things you can go through a lot of times, they're like Abby just moved and then had to do a job search. So like they are not usually on their own. Most people are dealing with multiple crisis. So you have your own back of love things. So take take action with us move forward know that the emotions are going to come and the whole point is the reason why resiliency is so powerful because we dress our mindset. So it's okay to feel the emotions, in fact, repressing them. And I think that you going through power versus force is going to be a really great exercise for you. You addressing those will let you bring it to the surface and clear it out so that we can move forward and momentum. So we're going to do that. So tune in for our next session next. Well, this this Friday for those people anybody's watching on the podcast, go ahead and tune into the next episode. And we are so excited to get to do this with you. So thank you so much for your time today. Abby, you've got this. I will see one.
Abby 1:09:03
Okay. See you guys. All right.