Episode 33
Lindsay 00:00
I'm Lindsay Mustain and this is the career design podcast made for driven ambitious square pegs and round holes type professionals who see things differently and challenge the status quo. We obliterate obstacles and unlock hidden pathways to overcome and succeed where others have not stagnation feels like death. And we are unwilling to compromise our integrity and settle for being average in any way. We are the backbone of any successful business and those who overlook our potential are doomed to a slow demise. We do work that truly matters aligns with our purpose, and in turn, we make our lasting mark on the world. We are the dreamers, doers, legends, and visionaries who are called to make our most meaningful contribution and love what we do.
Lindsay 00:42
Welcome to the Career Design Podcast, I could not be more excited for our guest today. And I want to introduce you to Amanda Love, and I'll let her introduce you. But one of the things we're going to be really talking about here is true self-love and worthiness because, in order to really intentionally create that future that you want for yourself, you have to go inside and find the person that's worthy of love first in order to create that future. And it all starts with you. So I'm gonna let Amanda go in today and talk a little bit about this. But she is going to be talking about self-love goddess initiation, awakening, your divine love codes to feel empowered, inside and out. This is all about self-love. So Amanda, welcome to the podcast.
Amanda 01:25
Thank you so much, I appreciate you having me here. I'm just super excited to share a little bit of my thoughts on self-love, so if you don't know me, I'm an intuitive tarot reader and I work with people to manifest the ideal relationship, I use Tarot and other magical modalities with my clients to create the love life that they really want.
Lindsay 01:53
Beautiful. And I specifically asked you to come on here, because I knew that is a way that you really create that relationship with others. And let me just tell you that everything in life is based on relationships. So she is incredibly powerful, but really starts with you, right?
Amanda 02:08
Completely agree, it's all about that self-love, I work, obviously with people looking to find that ideal partner, but where we start is within ourselves. So that's kind of how we attract the ideal partner that we want. So and you'll see through the love codes, just how that works a little bit.
Lindsay 02:30
I am so excited about this. And we have three love codes that she's going to share with us. And I want you to again, remember that, while Amanda talks about, you know, her role is really about attracting that ideal partner. The same thing goes with intentionally designing your career and the relationships that you attract into this. So I want you to see the correlation that really it's all about you before you can begin to create your future it starts the work starts internally. So let's jump into divine love code number one.
Amanda 02:57
Okay, so divine love code number one is busting the truth about what self-love really is. And this is probably where we spend the most time when I work with clients. It's about going within yourself, literally loving yourself. So I know that right now we're inundated with self-love, you know, go to the spa, do a vacation, but really, it's about going deep within yourself and becoming your own BFF, which I think a lot of us sometimes have some hard time with, you know, understanding what it is we want.
Amanda 03:32
I'm sorry?
Lindsay 03:34
I said absolutely.
Amanda 03:35
Okay, understanding what we want. What's missing in our life from being happy. Like, we have to understand what is important to us so that we know where to spend our time. And so I think that is a big portion of it is diving deep. It's a little bit hard, but I think it is completely unnecessary if you want success within various aspects of your life.
Lindsay 04:04
And do you have anything where you would say I mean, I think self-care, like I feel people get confused self-care versus self-love. What's the difference between like, and I think we've normalized like let's give mom showers like that's the basic level of self-care. Everybody else in the world with the shower except for moms, but how do we get into the place of true self-love versus self-care?
Amanda 04:26
So obviously I listed vacations and getting a pedicure manicure before I to me, that is self-care. And it is very important. I'm not saying that it is not but self-love is really there's a lot of dimensions to it. It includes spiritual, physical, social, emotional, psychological. So really just going within yourself. Um, so some examples of things that I do. Learning boundaries, respecting yourself how you talk to yourself. For me detoxing from social media because it can be overwhelming. Absolutely. Yes. Physically, I love yoga, eating healthy training yourself to some me-time where you're actually like, asking yourself some of these questions that I don't think, I think with our busy schedules we forgot, we need me time, you know. So, to me, it's like, it's a combination of various things that we do throughout our day or in our life to really respect ourselves, I think it all comes down to how much respect we have for each other first.
Lindsay 05:39
I love that too. And I think there, I'm gonna say that some of the things that I've had to learn in my journey here, especially because we all get kind of traumas, we go through life, and we tend to think something's wrong with us. And just acceptance that we are our own creator, that the person that's staring back to you in the mirror is perfectly imperfect exactly who they need to be. And then accepting that. And it's not to say that I'm stagnant, but that I choose to accept and love myself today. And I choose to be better in everything that I do moving forward.
Amanda 06:09
Exactly. And I think something that people have a hard time dealing with is not being perfect. You know, we're in this society where we love perfection. It's all over social media, our role models, and part of it is knowing that healing is not linear. We're constantly working on ourselves. And as long as you're doing the work, to tackle whatever comes up that day, that is showing yourself self-love. Having the patience, having the respect to honor where you're at the moment.
Lindsay 06:41
I love that the phrase healing is not linear I am so borrowing that because that is incredibly powerful and giving yourself permission to forgive everything you've done up until this point that didn't go right. I think that's another thing is releasing the shame and guilt that you didn't get it right, because you were never meant to we aren't perfect, and you have to learn, you do have to heal, and then you have to choose to deliberately move forward.
Amanda 07:04
Of course, yeah. And I mean, those mistakes, as we call them, lead us to where we're at the moment, you know, they help us grow, they prepare us for our future. And I think that's where we get hung up is we want this perfect life and the perfect look and all this needs to be perfect but the reality is, it's just a bunch of pieces that we put together the best we can so.
Lindsay 07:28
Absolutely and I love this like the idea here the relationship with yourself in order for other people to fall in love with you. Whether It's Your dream employer or whether it's your trading partner. It starts with loving yourself first because if you can't see it in you, then no one else will see it either. Completely agree. So okay, let's talk about divine love code number two, this one I'm excited about?
Amanda 07:49
Yes. So activate yourself, love goddesses, sacred boundaries first excel, the keyword being boundaries.
Lindsay 07:56
I hear boundaries a lot right now. So I would love to hear more about this.
Amanda 08:01
Well, this is probably the hardest one for a lot of my clients. Because we are just in this mentality that we have to say yes to everyone that we're going to hurt someone's feelings if we can't help them with something, or we just don't spread ourselves too thin. Or, you know, so, for me, it's like you have to set boundaries to show yourself respect. Sure, it might seem selfish, and that's okay if it is. But the thing is that boundaries help make you feel empowered. Having respect for yourself is necessary. So some of the big ones are learning to say no, when you don't want to do something when you can't, don't have the time. Eliminating toxic people from your life. That is a big one. A lot of times we're in relationships, whether it's work or personal. Where it's a one-way street you're giving all in that person might not get as much. So I think when you do the self-love work, you realize where you want to spend your time what your goals are, and you need to evaluate each decision on if it's helping you get to the goal that you want.
Lindsay 09:22
I love this so much. And I think I always like to practice the absence of tolerance in this process, meaning we tolerate so much and that's that boundary that is wishy-washy, but people have mad respect for people who set their boundaries. So I'm gonna give you an example here. I asked her to do this podcast and she said, here's what I'm available, which was completely outside the time. I normally record podcasts and I said for you, I will find the time because I was so excited to share this with you and that's just the power of really, truly owning your boundaries.
Amanda 10:00
Yes, and I do appreciate that and we all are busy. And the thing is, we think that people are going to be upset with us if we say no, but the reality is most people are very understanding if somebody gets upset because you're setting a boundary, they're probably not the best person to have in your life.
Lindsay 10:19
So true.
Amanda 10:22
And I think we have a hard time because we want to be loved and we want to be accepted and all that good stuff. And although I'm not saying go out and just say no to everyone, and disrespect everyone, I am saying, really evaluate what is important to you. And if it goes align with your goals with what you want, for sure, say yes. But if not, and say no. And if you can't say no, right now, maybe no is a really hard word. Maybe say, Yes, I can do this for you, but and let them know when it works better for you or let them know what part works better for you and what you can't. So I think that's definitely how I get people to kind of see it differently. Okay, you want to say yes, say yes, but say it differently? What part are you willing to sacrifice? And what are you not?
Lindsay 11:12
And I'd like the thing here, as far as you remember that you always do what's in the best interest of you because people are also going to do the same. And I think one of the ways that we really lose a little bit of our identity and the ability to set boundaries is when we become this Yes, man. Because every time we say, yes, we're taking away from something else. And so you only have so many hours in the day, that is the truth, we only have so many finite resources here. So you need to prioritize yourself. And then the other things, I think that's true like self-love, self-care, and boundaries, and then being able to say yes.
Amanda 11:46
Right, exactly. And it's all about at the end of the day, the respect you give yourself and yeah, the hours of the day that we have. So you still got to do the sleeping and the kids and whatever responsibilities you have. So how are you going to fill up the other hours?
Lindsay 12:01
I love that you said this is a true measure of how much you respect yourself. And so if you aren't setting your boundaries, you're saying I don't respect myself, and therefore no one else should either.
Amanda 12:13
Right. Correct. So we teach others how to treat ourselves.
Lindsay 12:18
Oh, yes. Okay. Yes, we do treat this and this so applies to every relationship in your life, every single relationship, we train people how to treat us, and it starts with boundaries. Okay, amazing. New, this next one is really important. So I talked about worthiness, worthiness is a factor. So talk to me about divine love code number three.
Amanda 12:37
So divine love code. Number three is to use your level of worthiness as a powerful tool for success. So I'm a firm believer that we are energy, everything we exude our being our bodies, everything is energy. And so how you really see yourself dictates what you attract in your life and your level of success. So, um, a lot of times, we, you know, I love affirmations, I love some of the work that you do for self-love, but it's taking it a step deeper, and really believing your level of worth. I work with a lot of clients that say, Oh, I'm gonna, I'm attracting the same type of person in my life with the same relationships in my life. And they don't realize that it's because that's the energy that they're giving off. That is, their level of worthiness is what they're attracting. So we really have to believe that we are amazed that we are beautiful, that we are successful, and we have to take action every day to do that. So worthiness is starting with us, just like self-love. And in order to have others believe it, we really have to exude it, it has to come out of our pores. So that's kind of the most important thing.
Lindsay 14:07
I talk so much about energy these days, to me, the change that I've seen my clients tenfold, they're graduating at exponential rates with the same kind of results that we would see over multiple weeks in like three or four weeks. And so we're collapsing timelines. And the thing that's changed is that we introduced energy work. And so we've you've ever heard the saying, you know, your vibe attracts your tribe? That's true in every way, if you've ever walked into a room, or had somebody, you know, walk into the room, and everyone has been drawn to them. In fact, I'll give you an example of Marilyn Monroe. When she was Norma Jean, she could walk in completely undetected into a bus stop and she said one time would you like to see her to the person she's with and then immediately flipped on turn on our persona as Marilyn Monroe and the energy shifts and she started to make like a stem in this power of this attractive icon. And that's true for every single person. That is how you show up in your energy, the universe responds accordingly. Like, and there's, there's a lot of studies on this. And so it seems very woo. But really, truthfully, we attract what we put out there. And that really happens with this energy. And so if you don't believe you're worthy, you will not put out a vibe that attracts the things to you. If you do believe you're worthy if you do love yourself, if you put yourself first and you show up, and that's the energy you put into the world, the world, in turn, the universe will come back conspire for you to have that same level of energy is what you bring into your life.
Amanda 15:33
And the first two love codes are an amazing way to really work on your level of worthiness. Because sometimes our subconscious plays little mind games with us, you know, we say the things that we're supposed to say, but do we believe it. And so doing working on those two first love codes is just how you're going to really embody that person embody what you want to be. So I definitely agree.
Lindsay 16:03
And I'm gonna give one little tip here that I teach my clients which is to act as if some people will be like, fake it till you make it. And you know, there's there is some sense of here that you may not be everything that you hope you were at this moment, you may not be that person, you're always striving for the next level to train of high performers. But it's not about faking it. It's about acting as if you are unshakable acting as if you can create any future that you have. Even if you're not completely there. If you choose to embody that energy and put yourself out there, you will see much better results than anybody who's faking it or is doing nothing. But most people and the masses live by doing the least amount to not show up to not stand in their power to not exude confidence, to not believe that they can create the life of their dreams. So you really have to choose this. And I love the idea of like, act as if you're unshakable act as if you are a candidate of choice, act as if you have people falling over you for your time, because in turn that will show up for you.
Amanda 17:04
Right. Imagine the day in the life of the person you want to be what do you eat? How do you dress? How do you talk to people? What when you walk into a room? How does that feel? So that is one of the best exercises. And I think that's something that every day we have to show ourselves to do because it's very easy to go back into the bad habits or to talk to ourselves a certain way. So it's a constant.
Lindsay 17:31
That means even when you don't, it doesn't work out, right? It doesn't have to be perfect. In fact, it never is growth isn't linear either. So there's going to be times where you take the scenic path, but the question is, are you moving forward? And really the same thing, like there's one beam that says like, you know, there are 24 hours a day, so does beyond say we only has 24 hours in a day? So what are you doing with yours? And that's what I want you to think of when you're moving towards this. What would Sasha Fierce do? How do you show up that way? And when you command that when you put that energy into the world, when you set your boundaries, when you truly love yourself? You know, the difference that you'll see in the results just are transformational. So, Amanda, I would like you to tell me a little bit about what you see people shift when they invite these three love codes into their life. What changes for them?
Amanda 18:22
For sure, they change how they communicate their needs to people changes. There's like the confidence it's very hard to describe because when you learn to say no when you set boundaries, sure, you might feel bad the first couple of times, but then you're like, I've got time for myself, I feel good. I feel I don't feel like I've spread myself too thin. And I've seen the opportunities as well as Yes, I'm a love coach. But I have one client who I mean she grew a business just from learning to set boundaries with her family members and learning to say no, I have another client who was able to find the love of her life just by tweaking some of the things that she was doing when looking for a partner so I think that these things can affect every level of your life, whether it's your career or your personal life. It's all about how you see yourself and you're setting the precedent so I think these are life-changing.
Lindsay 19:29
They are absolutely life-changing. And I will just say Amanda has worked with me in my own relationship and she is absolutely remarkable. I don't bring people on here unless I truly believe in what they do. So Amanda, if people want to find out more about you, where do they go? So I'm on Instagram as love dot goddess dot magic and on there. There's a link to my link tree which I'm near to Tiktok but I'm on there. I also have a Facebook called the Love Hub. And if you don't do anything on Social media you can find me. My email is love goddess dot magic at protonmail dot com.
Lindsay 20:08
Fantastic. Thank you so much for being here. Amanda, I so appreciate you.
Amanda 20:12
No thank you. I am so excited to be here I am in love with your cup podcast. I actually just listened to one of your episodes that just inspires me every time so I really appreciate it.
Lindsay 20:25
Oh thank you so much, Amanda, and thank you for sharing your gift with the world.